"...there are many things I haven't learned to like yet"
The Royal Funkhole
We have been more fortunate in the way of mail since coming to the trenches than ever we were in Egypt, we had only two breaks in the weekly mail since arriving at Gallipolli. There was a mail during the past week and there is another next week early so what have we to grumble at?
During the past week I received yours of September the 1st, also enclosed one from Olive Beatrice, containing a lovely piece of wattle for which I am truly thankful. I will write her an article of appreciation very shortly. Fancy Uncle Albert being Mayor. I bet that Dad goes about with his head in the air, kidding himself that he's got royal blood in his veins. Dead funny about the Smith trio isn't it. What sort of efforts of men do they call themselves, I thought that Neil had more cerebral material in his cranium and that George was old enough to steer clear of rocks, but of course, Vic-well-nuff-said. Poor old Aunty Lottie, but perhaps it will be a good thing for her, she can keep Vic's better half home to help and send the other two out to do a bit, there should be plenty of paying jobs now that so many of the male species have left. As for the boys, she ought to buy them all a set of teeth and take them by the hand to the nearest recruiting office.
Won't Mr Blamire be proud more.
It's raining and it's cold and it makes a chap as miserable as a bandicoot and he repeats to myself one hundred times a day I wish I were home again, but with all ones wishing, we are still here, and for a good long time too, by the look of things. Nothing much has happened during the week, we blew up part of their trench known as the Crater yesterday morning at 4am and then bombarded them with our Howizters for two hours then our chaps let out a yell as if they were going to attack and I'm blessed if the flamed Turks didn't mock them, and that after a two hours bombardment, the Howitzer shells are awful when they lob, the crash of the explostion is enough to make a chaps blood freeze but I suppose the Turk has been fighting since he was a kid and revels in it now, anyhow, this is our first war and there are many things I haven't learned to like yet, least of all the shells that arrive so frequently they near choked us with fumes, just before dinner and made horrid noises too close to be appreciated and whilst that was going on I thought I had better change the name of my dugout to a more suitable one, which I did.
There is a terrible lot of sickness here, a dozen men being sent away sick for everyone being sent away wounded, of course only the very bad cases are sent to Egypt. We have hospitals here for such cases as influenzia.
I'm one of lucky ones, but I've put in a couple of days lately, not too well, but I am as right as a top, almost now. Ernie has had a touch of influenzia but is now A-1. I've not seen Ralph for a week or so, but he was good oh when I last had a glimpse of him.
So I will ring off now, hoping you are well and not worrying.
Your loving son.